#Love & Sex

Help! My Partner Has No Sex Drive

by Megan Wells

Help! My Partner Has No Sex Drive

Let’s face it—sex is a huge part of a relationship. Being on the same page as your partner when it comes to sexual urges is a major component of a healthy relationship. So how do you cope when your partner doesn’t match you in the bedroom?

You and your partner are the perfect duo: You have fun every time you hang out. You could be watching television in comfortable silence or dancing the night away. It doesn’t matter what you’re doing, you enjoy each other’s company. But then the bedroom comes into play, and you’re ready to get it on and your partner isn’t. Not just an occasional out-of-sync moment but an ongoing struggle for sexual balance. What do you do?

1. Don’t take it personally.
Just because you are a lion or lioness in the bedroom doesn’t mean that everyone shares similar needs. Your partner loves you and isn’t trying to say you’re unattractive or incompatible, they are just intrinsically built differently than you. Be patient and understanding; there is more to a relationship.

2. Pay attention to the signs.
When you are intimate with your partner, what really gets things going? Are they more reactive to a sensual beginning? When you know the small details that get your partner in the mood, you’ll be able to cater to those needs, which may often be the kick-start they need.

3. Encourage physical activity.
It’s no secret that when we feel better about ourselves it improves our mood, but the impact exercise has on sex drive is less obvious. When you slum around the house and ignore endorphin activity, it’s not uncommon to feel less sexual. Strap on your hiking boots, or oil up your bike chain. Do something active with your partner, and fuel your “feel good” vibes.

4. Shake things up.
Maybe the standard missionary routine isn’t cutting it anymore. Get creative and inspire excitement. Switch positions—or perhaps locations—for intimacy. Maybe an impromptu weekend getaway will do the trick.

5. Be honest.
Have you mentioned your preferences to your partner? Your partner is not a mind reader. Without open dialogue regarding your sex life, they may never know your frustrations.

Sex can be a deal breaker in relationships, so addressing the situation and proactively seeking solutions are the best ways to react.