#Love & Sex
How to Meet Men in a New City
by Abby Gilman
Moving to a new city typically means starting fresh in the social department, and you basically have to learn how to meet men all over again. Fret not: Whether you’re looking for a nice beau for some weekend fun or to settle down with as a serious partner for life, give these pickup tricks a try, and you’ll be cuddling up with a cutie in no time.
Relocating is no easy task, especially when you’re leaving your friends and family behind to seek out greener pastures. Take this opportunity to explore what your new home has to offer—curious neighborhoods, scenes, cultures, and, of course, people. You never know where—or when—you’ll meet the man of your dreams. Check out our list of the best ways to meet men when you’re new to town.
Be a Yes (Wo)man
If you want to know how to meet men, then it’s important to get out and be open to trying new things. You aren’t going to meet anyone by staying in and watching Netflix on the weekends. It may be intimidating, but start saying yes to those after-work drinks and weekend events at the social club. At the very least, you’ll make some new friends who might have other cute, single friends!
Join a Club or Intramural Team
Whether you’re an avid athlete or have just dabbled in flag football in college, joining an intramural or club sports team is a great way to meet new people. Take group lessons near your neighborhood, or find a league that meets at least once a week. You’ll instantly have an in with the hot dude on the team and can grab his number to set up a few practices on the side.
Chances are you or someone you know has a friend, family member, or coworker in your new city. Ask people you know and trust to set you up with their connections. If it isn’t a love connection, at least you’ll know another soul in the city, and, who knows, maybe they’ll have a friend who’s a better match?
Use Your Resources
Social media is a curse and a blessing. It’s a great way to get the lay of the new land, but it’s important to not get too caught up in the cyber world. Use Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, Instagram, and the like to find people with similar interests in your area. Let them know you’re new to the city, and ask for recommendations. It’s an easy way to start up a conversation about your interests, and if it goes well, you can invite them to continue the conversation at their favorite coffee shop.
Use Your Alumni Groups
Most colleges have alumni groups that get together to host game-watching parties, cocktail hours, and the like. Find out if your college has a group in the area, and get involved. Bonus: You’ll already have an alma mater in common, which is a perfect launching point for conversation.
Spend Quality Time at Your Stomping Grounds
One of the best parts about a new city is finding “your” places—a favorite coffee shop, your go-to bar, the restaurant that serves you off the menu. Once you’ve found your place, spend some quality time there. We guarantee you’ll start to see some of the same people, and when they catch your eye, approach them and start a conversation.
Many religious organizations have small groups, and you’re bound to find one that aligns with your beliefs. Start attending events in addition to regular services. The intimate setting is the perfect venue to get to know each other, plus you’ll have one major thing in common upon which to build a relationship.
Volunteer for a Cause
Volunteering is proven to make people happier. Look for opportunities in your new city, and get involved. Into music and the arts? Check out local festivals. Food your thing? Serve up soup on a weekend at a local kitchen.
Education is important, and the learning shouldn’t stop once you’ve graduated from college. Check out continued education courses in your area, and attend one that’s of interest to you. If you meet someone interesting, suggest exchanging contact information so you can study together.
Go Out Alone
Being open to doing things alone, such as grabbing dinner or sitting at a bar, is essential to dating as an adult. It can be intimidating, and you might feel a bit awkward, but give it a try. You’re much more approachable when sitting by yourself in public, especially if you look confident and happy. If all else fails, sit at the bar and chat up the bartender.
Use Apps and Online Dating
Get Off Your Phone
Whether you’re a nonstop worker or nervous Facebook checker, constantly having your nose in your phone is basically a sign saying “Don’t talk to me.” Try to keep your phone tucked away to invite conversation from possible suitors. Not only will it make you more approachable, but you’ll also notice more of your surroundings, including that cute dude checking you out from across the bar.
If At First You Don’t Succeed…
You don’t have to meet “the one” right off the bat. Take your time, go on dates, and, as hard as it is to live up to these words, don’t be afraid of something not working out. Not every man you meet is going to be a match, and it’s important to look at those experiences not as failures but as a part of the dating game.