#Love & Sex

Last-Minute Gifts for ANYONE—Guaranteed!

by Allison Ford

Last-Minute Gifts for ANYONE—Guaranteed!

Just when you think you’ve crossed all the “nices” off your list, some well-meaning acquaintance presents you with a carefully wrapped box and you have nothing in return. Or, maybe you get invited to a party where you’re expected to give a gift. Or, maybe you just flat-out flake and it’s Christmas morning and all your relatives are over and you realize that you totally forgot about cousin Brenda and now she’s just sitting there in your living room waiting to see what you bring her. Never fear. Buy one of these gifts that are sure to please anyone. That’s right—anyone. Any adult would love any one of these, so buy one and keep it wrapped and out of sight until you need it.





Mini Robot Vacuum



Perfect for moms with kids, busy professionals, or slobs!





F-Bomb Paperweight



If there’s one thing that unites each American, it’s that we all hate our jobs sometimes.





Collapsible Lunch Box



It ‘s microwave- and dishwasher-safe, and it’s adorable and easy to transport. If you buy this, hope and pray that you don’t need to give it away.





Pancake Plates



The funnel syrup to the side for less sogging and more dipping. HOW HAS NO ONE INVENTED THESE UNTIL NOW? (Plates, 2 for $50)





Heated Foot Massager



Everyone wants a foot massage. Everyone. You’re a jerk if you _don’t_ give someone this gift. (Massager, $49.99)





Boo, The Life of the World’s Cutest Dog



Here’s a fun test…present your friend with this book, and if he doesn’t like it, you can defriend him in good conscience, because he obviously has no soul. (Book, $8.90)





Leather Notebook



This says, “I assume that the things you think are worldly and worth writing down.” Even though it’ll just be used for doodling, grocery lists, and bad poetry. (Leather notebook, $80)





Retro Phone Charging Dock



Make charging a smartphone a totally twee experience. Perfect if Zooey Deschanel stops by. (Phone dock, $48)





Bluebird Corkscrew



Fact: Wine tastes better when it’s opened with a bird. It gains notes of feathers and sticks. (Corkscrew, $16.49)








Who couldn’t use an extra umbrella? They’re a completely necessary accessory. Note: “Great for anyone” guarantee does not apply if you live in Arizona. (Umbrella, $28)