When we talk about making love, we often focus on the joy of sex, our partner, and our pleasure. Nothing wrong with that. Yet, when it comes to procreation “making love” becomes something else, it is the ultimate act of creation, we are actually making (skin and bones) someone who will become the love of our lives. Conscious conception, which is the act of consciously coming together to procreate another human being, is often done only when despite trying we have not been able to get pregnant. Then, at times, procreation can become a chore, filled with scheduled encounters, time tables, hormone therapy, frustration, and the magic seems gone. No matter what needs to be done to reach our goals we must not forget the miracle of love making and procreating.
There are several cultures around the world that invoke the supernatural, God, Allah, etc., through songs, prayers, and rituals during the act of love making to encourage the coming together of the egg and seed within the miraculous of the divine. Whether you believe in a power greater than yourself or not, it remains that when a new life is sprouting inside the mother’s womb, one cannot but recognize the miracle of creation. Scientists tell us that there is really no miracle; the sperm reaches the egg, one is allowed in, and the cell division simply commences. But none seem to be able to tell us, why now and not before, why not, or why this particular spermatozoa rather then the next. Could it just be biology?
I wonder, and what if we were to get in touch with the soul before it becomes incarnate? What wonders could we discover? I believe that our children choose us as parents and come into our lives to teach us specific lessons and to fulfill a sacred purpose. How sad would it be if we thought of our lives as simple accidents without purpose? We know that a purposeful life is a better life, we know that we feel much better when we can say that our lives has made a difference in the lives of even just one other human being.
So why not create a purposeful ritual, when we make love to procreate, so that the soul that has chosen us feels welcome, wanted and confident of its place in the Universe.
The concepts that conscious creation and joyful birth are sacred rituals have been forgotten in modern life, but we can remember and embrace the miraculous.
There are several steps that are needed in order to reach our goals. We cannot go from A to Z without first going through B, C, and D. Owning up and asking ourselves why we feel this is the right time to procreate, is the first step toward what I call “conscious conception.”
As it is hard to explain why we fall in love with another person, often it is hard to describe exactly why we want to have a child. It is a “burning desire” or, “you feel, you are simply ready for it.” One thing we know for sure is that it is a gut feeling and desire. While it is true that most things that are so heavily emotional are often indescribable, we still have the responsibility of another human life in our hands. If we are willing to ask ourselves some very frank questions, and are ready to own up to the real reason why we want to procreate, we can clear the pathway to a healthy, honest, and loving relationship with our child.
In my hypnotherapy practice, when I work with couples who struggle to conceive, I encourage them to welcome the new soul into their lives, consciously, joyfully, and effortlessly. I stress that conception usually happens when the right conditions come together: physical, emotional, psychological, and spiritual. In my practice, I have created a specific script to this end that I use with couples who come to me to consciously procreate. I provide a self-hypnosis CD couples can listen as they prepare for the wonderful experience of carrying, meeting, and loving the love of their lives. To find out more you should visit joyinbirthing.com.
Just like in coaching mothers for labor and delivery, we work on any obstacle that can stand in the way of a new life sprouting freely in mother’s fertile womb. There is literally a birth “response” that propels our babies from womb to world with very little conscious effort on our part. The problem is … is that there is something even more powerful than the birth response, something that can override it entirely. That something is known as the fight/flight response.
When a woman is in a state of fear, messages are sent to the body telling it there is a danger out there that must be fought or run away from. Blood and oxygen are instantly sent into the arms and legs enabling the frightened woman to fight the danger or run away. In order for this to happen, however, blood and oxygen must be drained from other organs which the body considers nonessential for fight or flight. This is why we turn white when we’re afraid. The body assumes that our leg muscles need blood and oxygen more than our face does.
If there is fear, maybe even unconscious fear, in our lives when it comes to our relationships, our financial security, or even in our ability to raise a child, then our biochemistry works against our desire to procreate. If the world is not perceived as “safe” then our perfect system—our body—will opt not to procreate.
Some couples are willing to see a counselor, or priest before marriage because they understand the importance of preparing for such life-time commitment, yet for one of the most important jobs of our existence—parenting—we have no preparation. I know the critics of this work ahead tell us that we have had children for million of years why do we need now to do anything different? These days we marry and divorce with great haste, but parenting is forever, no matter what, so why not get ready for one of the hardest and most important “jobs” of your life? Research has shown that there are more infertile couples now days than at anytime in history before. In vitro fertilization has shot to an all time high. Once again we are bombarded with bad news from the media and the medical establishment that women cannot do what they where created to do—have a child—and that they need help.
Conscious conception is for everyone, not only for those who have been trying for one year and have not succeeded. Know thyself before you bring in a new life, and know the values, beliefs and strength of your relationship. Then have fun and let go, if it’s meant to be you can’t mess it up.