Okay mamas, I know that we’re all busy changing diapers, chasing kids, going to work, carpooling, dance lessons, soccer camp, and doing just about anything else that requires us to become utterly exhausted and sleep-deprived. I was pondering the meaning of life the other day as I changed my millionth diaper, when it occurred to me that I needed a pick-me-up from the sweltering days of summer (and all of the diaper changes). Something to make me laugh, cry, or scream—something that was completely mine. Besides a strong drink, I needed a break from reality. A moment for me. Time to take it all in.
I set off on a mama mission to find things to make me giggle with glee. It wasn’t long before my fingers stumbled upon some sinefully delightful little trinkets that brought a smile back to my tired face. I mean, who doesn’t want porn for moms or buttercream frosting hand soap to brighten your day? So go ahead, indulge you whims and fantasies. The dirty dishes and mounds of laundry can wait until tomorrow.
- Chick Chocolates—Come on, what woman doesn’t love chocolate? This totally chic chocolate is made just for moms. You can tailor your mood to the type of chocolate you eat. With flavors like Strong Chick, Extreme Chick, Nutty Chick, and Survivor Chick, you’ll never be lonely again.
- Superwoman Caricature—What mom doesn’t want to look up on the fridge and be reminded that she’s really is superwoman? This cute caricature incorporates your own photo into a superwoman silhouette to tack on your fridge. Use it to win arguments with your child by simply pointing to the picture and saying, “I’m superwoman; what I say goes.” End of argument (for now).
- Porn for New Moms—No, it’s not what you think—you ladies have such dirty minds! This is the kind of porn that new moms only dream of … you know, hot dads changing the baby in boxer shorts. Or a young dad getting up in the middle of the night with you little one in a loose fitting robe that gently falls over his jacked shoulder blade as he slowly bends down for the wipes. Ya, the good stuff!
- Mommy’s Little Helper Wine Glass—Because we all need a little help—some of us more than others! Buy a set and share them with the girls or fill them and drink it all yourself. Either way, there’s plenty of good “cheer” to be found.
- Eat, Drink, and Be Gorgeous—a book by Esther Blum and James Dignan. When, and if, you have time to read, there’s nothing better than having a dietitian give you permission to eat a nice, big, fat piece of chocolate cake. In this delightfully bubbly book, author and dietitian-nutritionist Esther Blum does just that. She brings the cliché “you can have your cake and eat it too” to life. Learn the secrets to eating, drinking, and indulging in dessert without going overboard. Does it get any better than that?
- Pink Buttercream Frosting Hand Soap—From what I understand, this yummy concoction is a must-have for many celebrity moms. So naturally, if celebs have it, then the real moms of the world should too! Why? Because it smells so damn good! And really, don’t you deserve to smell yummy after having your toddler vomit all over you? For buttercream addicts, there’s also a gift set with lotion and bath gel. Mmm … delicious! But don’t take my word for it; try it for yourself and see why it will instantly make your hands (or anything else you put it on) smell yummilicious!