Memoirs I Will Recall Alone: I Cherished

by admin

Memoirs I Will Recall Alone: I Cherished

It was a rough night for me; I have been attacking insomnia tonight. So here I am in my bed, sleepless and feeling the pain of a broken heart. However, I feel a little glad. Devon, my son, sleeps so sweetly, like an angel, here by my side. We had a great evening! My brothers chose to play mellow pop songs for tonight, which is unusual because we more love to play rock songs (not like weird songs huh), upbeat, R’n’B, Alternative, and hip hop songs. I carried my son and swayed to the rhythm of the songs while looking up at the sky and gazed the stars above …

The sky was like a December hemisphere, clear, and full of stars. I could see Draco the Dragon in the north positioned this time around, and the Ursa Minor the Little Bear far ahead. My favorite to point out is Orion … I have a nice view from my veranda when he is northeast in the sky. I could easily recognize him because of his belt with the three stars align diagonally, and could connect right away to the two brightest stars located opposite direction, then the other stars surrounding it, including the clearest emission nebula in the sky.

“Stat! Mommy Stat!” Devon keeps yelling and did some counts one to ten at the same time. Ha ha! Up until now, his letter R was still letter T. However, he is just a sweet baby so it is normal for him … Although he was raised in my language, he speaks a little slang when talking, but he speaks better than any kids older than him. He just has trouble pronouncing sometimes as normally to English people if they want to try to talk using my local dialect. Then, he talks faster; that is why he just eats his words than to pronounce them correctly.

I asked him to do the counts in all the languages I know. Outside of my own local language (as we call it Visayan), we have our national language as well that uses everyone in this country—it is Pilipino or Tagalog. As it’s known, the Spanish colonized here for almost four hundred years, it’s normal that the first settlers here learned to speak Spanish and it became mixed up in our dialects.

English is also easy to blend in our conversation. The Philippines has eighty different languages and it’s complex sometimes. Nevertheless, the people learned what to use to make us all understand each other. We could all use Tagalog if we knew the person didn’t speak our language. It was advantageous for those who learned more dialects than just their native one. For my part (as normally in my Region), I could use four languages while doing some conversation. I am not very aware of how and when it started like this… For instance, like Spanish, we don’t fluently speak it; it is just already mixed up in the language I was born knowing.

I just realized this when I started learning about other countries who use Spanish and the history of my country. This sparked my curiosity about it until it became clearer to me when I grew up. I also noticed our dishes’ names and found out they usually came from Spanish terms. But I’m thinking these names and words changed as time passed by and the terms were introduced to other places in the country. 

I am not sure actually, if what Visayan, Spanish or an original Tagalog in the languages we’ve been using. At school, we only have Filipino (Tagalog) and English subjects. Visayan is just our dialect, used to describe the lesson or while doing some lecture. But for now, Visayan speaking is slowly prohibited at school. Many Universities, Colleges, Private Schools and even Public schools have started to strictly practice this inside the campus so our students could learn to speak well in English already. English are one that pursued by our education. Aside from having a lots of foreigners living here already; be married to a Filipina or to their own race, many have their tour in the country as well stay for a vacation and we need to know how we could communicate to them whenever they talk to us (for example, asking for assistance or directions). Filipinos are now known to be good English speakers, though some of my country men don’t speak well … however we understand it.

On the contrary, I want to study about the history of my native languages, take some courses, and will master it! By now, I am glad I could teach my son of these languages. I feel a little more advantageous than anyone else. My Visayan is already mixed up with Spanish, with some Pilipino, so I will just add some English—I will speak four languages! The first thing I could teach my son is to count … and that is what we did while stargazing and dancing slowly … We point out some stars and my son repeatedly does the counts in these languages. I am just proud because I want him to learn more languages like French, fluent Spanish or Latin, German, Russian? Haha! I would like Chinese and Japanese too … and more tongues! I know he could make it as I know how smart my son is.

Later on, Devon gets tired from looking up, so he decides to rest his head down in my shoulder and wrap his arms around my neck. I asked him if we could just sit down as he is heavy for me if I will carry him for a long time. But he doesn’t want to, so I continued dancing slowly.

The next song playing on our DVD player is the song “When You Believe,” a revival by David Archuleta. This song is one of my favorite songs (because of the movie Prince of Egypt—inspired by Moses’ story).

“Miracle … when you believe,” I utter to myself and sighed. “When will this miracle happen to me? Should I believe? Hmmm. ..”

The song ended and another song plays in the air. Once more, it is another David Archuleta’s revival song entitled “Angel.” The last singer I heard reviving it was Jessica Simpson. All I know, Robin Williams sang this song first but it seems there is more older original singer.

“Angel, When You Believe… Miracle. What a connection!” I sighed. David sang it perfectly in his cold and beautiful voice. I look into the horizon. The night is getting old but still has many vehicles pass by. We are near at National High Way, though the nights not yet quite, I feel stillness in my surroundings. So I embrace this moment and hold my son tighter. I lifted him up if he is going down from my hold, then he more held me tightly.

Now, the road was noiseless. The breeze was cold; I could feel it from my open window… My son sleeping so tightly here in my side, he looks very innocent and hoping he will stay like that. But the time comes and he needs to be… to be strong, gown up, and be wise to understand this life early. I then start recalling the day… that day I waited he will come out in this world and be—My First.