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Momnesia

Since I became a mom twenty-five months ago, I can’t remember a damn thing. Birthdays? Nope. Names of parents at preschool? My mind is blank. I almost had a panic attack the first time I went on a television shoot after I had Natalia. I was producing a crime show that involved about ten different interviews, as many shooting locations, and piles of legal documents.

Back then I barely could remember how to feed Natalia at a certain time, let alone remember the name of the person I was interviewing at the moment. And wouldn’t you know, the case was nearly ten years old, so most of the “experts” could barely remember the facts of the homicide in the first place. Imagine trying to sort through conflicting information when you can’t remember what you had for lunch that morning. To this day I still don’t know how I got through that shoot without embarrassing myself. I just don’t remember.

Momnesia blows. It can make the most educated woman feel like a complete idiot. My memory is better on some days than others. So until I’m fully recovered, I have to fake it. My Blackberry has become my new personal assistant. I jot down everything: “to do” lists, names, important dates, you name it and I send it Mr. Blackberry. And of course, as soon as I hit send, I forget all about it. Sometime I don’t even remember that I told my assistant everything I need to know. So I manically check my “inbox” dozens of times a day. I’m convinced I’m going to turn into a Crackberry addict like my husband.

I also rely on the Comcast Universal Address Book to store upcoming events, birthdays, etc. But when I went online the other day to update it, I couldn’t find it. Are you kidding me? The address book is usually smack dab at the bottom of the page, but I swear it is not there anymore. What happened to it? Either Comcast is updating the address book, I’m on drugs, or I’ve completely lost my mind.

I’ve got momnesia bad. And I only have one kid. How on Earth do women with more than one child survive every day? While you couldn’t pay me enough to trade places with the mom on John and Kate Plus 8, I would give anything to peak inside the left side of her brain. Kate Gosselin has somehow someway managed to stay sane and organized after giving birth to eight kids. How does she even remember all those names? If you put me in a room with kids that look alike, I would beg you to give me a sedative. Well, I’m not sure how she does it, but more power to her. I’d love for her to tell me her secret. But chances are I’d forget what she told me anyway.

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