A Mother’s Son
After reading your wonderful article, titled "The Mama's boy myth", I really felt compelled to write this story. I so loved and appreciated it. I have three amazing children, one son ,two daughters. As you have probably already guessed, my son is my firstborn. Here's a bit of background from my chidhood and birth order. I have an older brother, a younger brother and my sister is "the baby". Being in between two brothers, I had a tendency and a comfort being with them. Which made me an incredible tomboy. So,growing up ,I always imagined being the mother of all boys. Imagine my surprise when I had two girls after my son !! Not only was my son our first child, he was also the first grandchild on my side. When I was pregnant with him, my doctor every so often would ask ; "Deborah, what would you like ,a boy or girl ?" I would always answer, "a healthy,happy baby". When he was born in 1977, I felt like my heart literally stopped for a second. The doctor said, "well you have a boy". I wept with pure joy and thankfulness that he was fine and yes, I will admit now, that I was estatic that he was indeed a boy ! As he grew, he was a happy,busy ,social little guy. When I became pregnant with my oldest daughter, I remember saying to my Mom, " I don't know if I'll love this baby as much". She answered, "of course you will". Smart lady. I can so relate to the bond between a mother and son. In our family, " Mama's precious Boy" is very often quoted, then followed by laughter. I think there really is a slight difference between the mother- son relationship and the mother – daughter one. My son is 34 now, married and has 5 small children. As much as I am so proud of the man he's become, I just told him the other day that I miss my little guy too. He was very sweet when he said that I had shaped who he was and he would always need me. I cried. You always know that your daughters will always need you,no matter how old they are. I think our generation has broken many cycles and traditions. Especially sayings like "children should be seen and not heard ". I miss my noisy house. When I was about thirteen years old, I remember going upstairs to bed and saying goodnight to my parents. Their replies were, " uh hum" and " nite". As I laid in bed I had an epiphany ( one of my favorite words now). My kids would never go to bed without hearing "I love you " and being kissed and hugged every night of their lives. But I'm getting off the subject a little.One of my pet peeves is when you hear a Mom say, "My son or daughter is my best friend" I so agreed with the article on that. There is only one Mama, and I have best friends. My son and I are very close. We know when we're thinking the same things. When he lived at home ,we would start singing the same songs without knowing it. Is it because he is the first born or is it the Mama- boy relationship? All Iknow is that he grew up being the only boy with seven girl cousins plus his two sisters. He is smart, kind, sweet, athletic, loving and still a "man's man. And ,yes my girls are also amazing, smart ,gifted and sweet !!! I always tell him there's a reason God gave me only one son , because it doesn't get any better than him. There was a plan for our family. So all you Mom's that have Mama's boys, kiss and hug them all you want. Even say thank you when the subject comes up ! I truly believe it's nurture and God given that shapes the most important and precious (there's my word again) relationship . Once again, thank you for the wonderful article.