When she was about five I saw my daughter climb trees like a boy. I saw her ride her bike in a pile of mud like the boys. The older she got, the more I saw her being a tomboy. I didn’t mind because I figured she should be who she is. I would buy her dresses only for her to rip them on purpose. Then watch as she put on sagging jeans and a tank top. She would tell me this is what makes her feel comfortable.
By the time my daughter was thirteen, I begin to notice her conversations with girls was a lot different. It was as if she was one of the boys. She would call them baby and when she didn’t talk to them, she would express how much she missed them. I begin to realize my daughter was not like most girls. I began to see she was not just a tomboy anymore.
Washing my daughter’s clothes I saw a girl name on her tee shirts, her boxers, sox, down to her socks. When she came home from school, I noticed the same name on her hand in a heart. Later that day the girl called my daughter and as she was on the phone talking to her, I asked if that was her girlfriend. My daughter looked shocked because I asked. Her response was exactly what I thought, yes.
I wasn’t upset or anything. I was actually glad that she was open and honest. I was glad that she didn’t have to closet who she was. My daughter explained to me that she never liked boys. She said for her being with a boy wasn’t normal. Dressing like a girl didn’t feel right to her. She feels comfortable with her boy clothes. I just want her to feel comfortable being who she is. I don’t want her to ever feel shame.
It’s funny because looking back on her child hood pictures, I saw a tom boy. I didn’t think my daughter would be a lesbian. Now that I know she is, she is still my daughter and I will love her regardless. I know now my daughter is not a tomboy.