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Now That Mom Is Gone

Mom passed away on February 25, 2008. It was a very sad morning. I was just leaving to bring the kids to school, which was where I worked, a head start program. When my niece Delilah called me and said grandmamma has stop breathing and she wasn’t coming to, I said did you call 911 and she said no. I told her if my mother dies I will kick the crap out of each and everyone of you. So she hung ups began crying and felt sick to my stomach.

My boyfriends truck was locked and wouldn’t start I started bugging out like I already new my mom was gone. The truck finally started and we got the kids to school . . . off to the ER we went.

When we got there the ambulance was just getting there. My mom was lying on the stretcher and I knew she was gone. I started screaming and wanting to kill someone for I new I could never say good-bye or tell her how much I love her. She was my best friend and I was close to her. I didn’t want to lose her. When I got inside some of my family was there I was looking for my sister Cindy and brother Robert they weren’t there and I was told they were at work. I said why couldn’t anyone tell me I could have grab them I was mad even more how nobody even said a thing it was bad enough that my sister Shelly had to run fifteen blocks to get to my moms so she could go.

I couldn’t imagine how she felt or what was going through her mind. It was so sad to see how my family handle everything that day I felt anger inside for they let her lay in her room on the floor and couldn’t get in .how nobody even called 911.my mom needed help they had to take the door off the hinges to get to her. Then they all try car and no call to 911.then not to even care how my brother and sister got their or any other part of my family. When they told us she was gone I wanted to choke one of them but I new I couldn’t so the anger built up inside me and tore me apart. The anxiety I felt was terrible.

When we got to see her I stood above her and stroke her hair .I continued to do it the whole time why we waited till they told us they had to clean her up and watch one by one of our siblings arriving .I felt my heart ache so much not to have my mom by my side. How was I going to go on? When they cleaned her up we all got to go back in by her side. Once again I stood above her head and stroke her hair. Wishing I could of hug her one more time just to let her no how much I love her and needed her by my side. To look around and see my five sisters and brother my mom’s brother Archie and her sister marry all gathered around her. How we all ached. My mom’s boyfriend Rich was their crying too. But I felt so much anger for him and how could he not call 911 first .my beautiful mother was gone no more suffering and no more pain. My mother was in heaven with my father now and I new she was at peace. But it was the beginning of my anxiety attacks . . . it was hard to go on. We didn’t even want to leave her they finally came in and told us we had to leave. For we were in there for over an hour .it was killing us inside.

My mother raised us seven kids on her own. We were close to our mother’s never thought it was her time to go’s just felt she could of still been here if they only called 911 first. Why they didn’t I will never know. It drove me crazy for the past years just thinking how I talk to her on the phone the day before. How she ask me if I was going to adopt my two children I had custody of and I told her yes I was in the foster care program at that time. Then she asks what about say I said yes mom I will do whatever it takes to make him my boy. Mom was sick she could barley talk. I told her she needs to see a Dresher said she would be ok then the next day she passed away.

People should always forgive their moms you never know when she will go. It will tear you up inside when you lose your mom. Nobody could ever take the place of my dear mother’s wrote poems to help me cope with her loss. I hung pictures everywhere. I have a vanity set up with all my loved ones now that is no longer here. Its sad loosing someone so close’s cry as I write this short story .it hurts so much inside .god how could you take someone so loving and caring to so many people.

Mom I love and miss you with all my heart. More then I did from the start. The hurts never go away. I only wanted you to stay here by my side to help be my guide. Living my life day to day missing you more in so many ways. Thinking of all the good and bad times to. Mom I truly do love you. 

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