One Month Away

by admin

One Month Away

Today is May 13. Little Ricky is due June 13. I know babies rarely come on their due dates, but on time, a little early, late, whatever—we are about a month away from having a real live baby come home with us!

Now the fact that I am the size of a house, or that I can’t walk without back pain, or that I have to pee every fifteen seconds should have already clued me in to the fact that we are getting close. But there’s something about saying “one month” that really makes it … well, real.

I think my subconscious got clued in before I did, though. Last night I had the craziest dream. First, the baby was born and I kept thinking “That was easy.” There was no real labor or anything, just suddenly the baby was here.

But then …

Then he wasn’t here anymore and I was big and pregnant again. I kept trying to figure out how he got back in there and the doctors kept saying that that happens more often than you would think.

I’m sorry, what?

Shouldn’t someone have warned me that he could not only get out, but could also get back in?

Then to make matters worse, in order to really get him out I had to work a terribly difficult crossword puzzle while in the midst of labor. All correct answers moved him further along. All wrong answers moved him further back in.

It was quite stressful, especially considering the only crosswords I ever do are in the back of People magazine.

I woke up before the dream ended, so I have no idea how the whole crossword puzzle thing worked out. I can only hope at some point someone would have taken pity on me and found me a damn People magazine crossword!

Following this dream I got up, looked at the calendar, and thought—one more month.

Like I said, if that dream is any indication, I think the ol

‘ subconscious had already figured it out.