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Photo Flop

“OK, Dillon and Gina—today we’re going to take some pictures for a spe-e-ecial Christmas card that Mommy’s going to make. Nanna will be so excited—you get to wear the new dress-up clothes that she sent last year.  They finally fit—yea—Mommy’s big boy is growing up in his big-boy clothes—you’re already three years old!  
 
Kids, Mommy is putting this green afghan on the big chair, so we’re all going to leave it there, OK?   Won’t that look pretty!  We won’t tell Grammy that we had to replace the one she made that you cut with the scissors--she will never know, will she!  It looks almost exactly the same.  Anyway, she’ll be too busy admiring her daughter-in-law’s photographic abilities!   And, this Rudolph reindeer gets to sit right between you.  Eee!  I’m so excited!  Isn’t Mommy silly!
 
Let’s get you ready, Dillon.   No, Sweetie, hold still while I button your shirt…
 
Aren’t you glad you won’t have to get into your car seats and drive to the picture place and pay all that money—
 
Sweetie, leave the button at the top.  OK, this bow tie goes right…oh, sorry Baby, did Mommy pinch you?  Here, let me kiss it.  Mommy doesn’t like to pay money for something that she won’t be happy with, no she doesn’t, Lambie!  That’s why she’s taking her own pictures.
 
Now, let’s put on your vest, little man—I know you already have a shirt on, Honey, but what would Nanna say if we left off the vest!  OK, big boy…you sit right here in the chair and wait for Mommy to finish with Gina…yes, you may have your car for now, but we’ll have to take it away later when Mommy takes the picture.  We want it to be perfect!
 
Here, Princess Gina—ooh…Mommy’s Gumdrop looks so pretty in her velvet dress!  Hold still, Baby…it makes you look like you’re almost two!  I’ll put this bib on for just a minute so you don’t drool…
 
Gina, Honey, leave the little barrette in your hair—Mommy got it right at the top—oh, yes she did! Oh, your hair is so-o-o- pretty!  Mommy’s gonna kiss Gina’s hair—mmmm—it smells so---
 
Dillon, don’t pull the afghan off of the chair, dear.  It’s special for the picture.  OK, Gina, you sit right here while Mommy gets her camera.  Rudolph will sit right between you… here.   OK, kids, look at Mommy and smile for Nanna!  I’m going to count to three—one…two…leave the reindeer alone, please…three…  Flash.
 
Dillon, you were hitting your sister with the reindeer—that’s not nice… OK, let’s take another one quick—one… two… take your finger out of your nose, Gina…three!…Flash.
 
Sweetie, why were you holding out your arms, Gina?  Mommy will hold you in just a minute.  Let’s try another one--ready?  Smile for Grammy…one…two…Dillon, take the truck off of your head…three… Flash.
 
Oh, Gina, your hand was over your mouth.  OK, don’t cry now—you’ll get your velvet dress all wet.  Here, keep your fingers out of Dillon’s eyes.  Kids, we’re taking another one.  I know you’re tired.  So is Mommy.  Quick—look at the camera and smile…one…two…Gina, put your dress down…three… Flash.
 
Dillon—where’s your bow tie, and why were you climbing down?  But Mommy just took you!  Guess what!  If we get this done, Mommy may just take us all to McDonalds for a big, fattening shake and fries!  Wouldn’t that be yummy!  Just cooperate, OK?  One…two…stop being silly…three… Flash.
 
Oh, now what? How can you both be crying?  What do you mean, you’re afraid of the clown?  OK, so we won’t go to McDonalds.  PLEASE—just give me one good picture…one…two… no—not the afghan…three… Flash.
 
OK, listen.  You put your hands here, and you put your hands there, and leave the reindeer alone.  Yes, I know Gina is eating her barrette.  Yes, I know Mommy’s face is scary.  Now SMILE and DON’T MOVE!  Flash.
 
OK, THAT’S IT!  I don’t care how it turned out, that was the last picture.  I’m done with it!  So much for my big ideas!  YES, I KNOW MOMMY’S CRYING!  HOW COULD I NOT KNOW I WAS CRYING?  NO, WE’RE NOT GOING ANYWHERE ELSE.  THE ONLY PLACE WE’RE GOING IS TO BED.  WE’RE GOING DOWN FOR NAPS.  WE’RE ALL GOING TO TAKE NAPS.  LONG NAPS!
 
“OK, Dillon and Gina—today we’re going to take some pictures for a spe-e-ecial Christmas card that Mommy’s going to make.  Nanna will be so excited—you get to wear the new dress-up clothes that she sent last year.  They finally fit—yea—Mommy’s big boy is growing up in his big-boy clothes—you’re already three years old!  
 
Kids, Mommy is putting this green afghan on the big chair, so we’re all going to leave it there, OK?   Won’t that look pretty!  We won’t tell Grammy that we had to replace the one she made that you cut with the scissors--she will never know, will she!  It looks almost exactly the same.  Anyway, she’ll be too busy admiring her daughter-in-law’s photographic abilities!   And, this Rudolph reindeer gets to sit right between you.  Eee!  I’m so excited!  Isn’t Mommy silly!
 
Let’s get you ready, Dillon.   No, Sweetie, hold still while I button your shirt….  
 
Aren’t you glad you won’t have to get into your car seats and drive to the picture place and pay all that money—
 
Sweetie, leave the button at the top.  OK, this bow tie goes right…oh, sorry Baby, did Mommy pinch you?  Here, let me kiss it.  Mommy doesn’t like to pay money for something that she won’t be happy with, no she doesn’t, Lambie!  That’s why she’s taking her own pictures.
 
Now, let’s put on your vest, little man—I know you already have a shirt on, Honey, but what would Nanna say if we left off the vest!  OK, big boy…you sit right here in the chair and wait for Mommy to finish with Gina…yes, you may have your car for now, but we’ll have to take it away later when Mommy takes the picture.  We want it to be perfect!
 
Here, Princess Gina—ooh…Mommy’s Gumdrop looks so pretty in her velvet dress!  Hold still, Baby…it makes you look like you’re almost two!  I’ll put this bib on for just a minute so you don’t drool…
 
Gina, Honey, leave the little barrette in your hair—Mommy got it right at the top—oh, yes she did! Oh, your hair is so-o-o- pretty!  Mommy’s gonna kiss Gina’s hair—mmmm—it smells so---
 
Dillon, don’t pull the afghan off of the chair, dear.  It’s special for the picture.  OK, Gina, you sit right here while Mommy gets her camera.  Rudolph will sit right between you… here.   OK, kids, look at Mommy and smile for Nanna!  I’m going to count to three—one…two…leave the reindeer alone, please…three…  Flash.
 
Dillon, you were hitting your sister with the reindeer—that’s not nice… OK, let’s take another one quick—one… two… take your finger out of your nose, Gina…three!…Flash.
 
Sweetie, why were you holding out your arms, Gina?  Mommy will hold you in just a minute.  Let’s try another one--ready?  Smile for Grammy…one…two…Dillon, take the truck off of your head…three… Flash.
 
Oh, Gina, your hand was over your mouth.  OK, don’t cry now—you’ll get your velvet dress all wet.  Here, keep your fingers out of Dillon’s eyes.  Kids, we’re taking another one.  I know you’re tired.  So is Mommy.  Quick—look at the camera and smile…one…two…Gina, put your dress down…three… Flash.
 
Dillon—where’s your bow tie, and why were you climbing down?  But Mommy just took you!  Guess what!  If we get this done, Mommy may just take us all to McDonalds for a big, fattening shake and fries!  Wouldn’t that be yummy!  Just cooperate, OK?  One…two…stop being silly…three… Flash.
 
Oh, now what? How can you both be crying?  What do you mean, you’re afraid of the clown?  OK, so we won’t go to McDonalds.  PLEASE—just give me one good picture…one…two… no—not the afghan…three… Flash.
 
OK, listen.  You put your hands here, and you put your hands there, and leave the reindeer alone.  Yes, I know Gina is eating her barrette.  Yes, I know Mommy’s face is scary.  Now SMILE and DON’T MOVE!  Flash.
 
OK, THAT’S IT!  I don’t care how it turned out, that was the last picture.  I’m done with it!  So much for my big ideas!  YES, I KNOW MOMMY’S CRYING!  HOW COULD I NOT KNOW I WAS CRYING?  NO, WE’RE NOT GOING ANYWHERE ELSE.  THE ONLY PLACE WE’RE GOING IS TO BED.  WE’RE GOING DOWN FOR NAPS.  WE’RE ALL GOING TO TAKE NAPS.  LONG NAPS!

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