'no your not'
God is.... and then you
Years ago when I was just loaning my life to God instead of giving it to him, when my then soon to be husband said that to me I was upset to the core. But over the years my growth in God has changed my thinking and I pray everyday that his heart would never have it any other way. Putting God first everyday, all day and giving every part of your life to God is what makes the difference in the hard times. That being said it has been a hard few weeks in the Hudspath home. Really, things have been swirling for about a year but the last few weeks have put things over the edge. Seems like the more I get into the bible the more things crash and burn around me. I have felt that I was okay with everything that have happened over the last 10 years. For everything that happens the good the bad and the ugly there is a lesson to be learned. But sometimes a ton of negative thoughts creep back in making your cloak of God giving peace seem invisible.What do I have to show for all of my blood sweat and tears? I have done pretty much any job that didn't require a degree. I have at points scarifced myself and my family time just to make sure that things were taken care of in a worldly context. Now sitting here looking around there is nothing to show for it. Our cars are broke down one way or the other. All of the work that we put into our house someone else is enjoying it. All the money that we made at one point means nothing when you wake up in the morning wondering how you are going to put food on the table that night and keep the lights on. When I take a a step back and regroup all of these years have really gone in a circle. Where I am in life right this very moment is where I was when Ben and I first got married. So broke(monetarily),barren but not broken.... For some, these kind of circumstartes tear marriages and families apart but our marriage is always so much stronger when the bottom falls outs. I feel like it is the time in our lives when you realize just how much we need,love and enjoy being with each other. We are so strong in our faith, clinging to every word and passage in our bibles. So encouraged, hopeful, and strong. When all of our plans and the people that we should be able to count on have failed we have always had each other and God and his promises to us. Every where that I have looked during this time in the valley I have read verses, seen book covers, and pictures that say he is with me and this too shall pass. When this passes again I have to remain as strong in my Faith and love of God so when it circles around again I am ready to batten down the hatches and ride the storm out again.God will never leave me or forsake me, he is right there with me threw all the crappy days, all I have to do is ask for help.