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Raising mean

What would you change about yourself? I’m sure a list of things just popped into your head as you read this sentence. Now tell me why would you change the things that just popped into your head? Was your response because I don’t like it? When did you start not liking these features about yourself, and what exactly makes you not like these features about yourself? If it were me I would be say I would change my weight. I would say it because I could stand to lose a few pounds around the stomach. I think that because I want to be able to wear anything I want out in public and not be afraid of what would cross other people’s minds. I started to gain weight in the ninth grade when I started eating candy on a daily bases as a way to compensate for having a hard time with friends. My best friend at the beginning of my ninth grade year got really mad at me out of the blue, started yelling and telling me I was a horrible person and I was using her. I was honestly confused I was not sure where this was coming from. What had I done that had made her so upset? I barely talked to her the rest of high school after she had blown up on me. Throughout my freshmen year I made two other girls friends that I spent all my time with. At the end of my sophomore year one of the girls told everyone never to talk to me because I was a horrible friend, all because a boy had asked me out. The other friend I lost after I told her I thought her boyfriend was cheating on her. This seemed to be the pattern I had with any girlfriends I had growing up. Because I had begun using sweets to help me compensate for all the friendships that went sour, I started to gain weight. I never weighed over a size seven but I was given the nick name tubby by my soccer team and every time someone would get mad at me or didn’t like me they would refer to me as “That fat bitch.” I graduated high school and my younger sister started her ninth grade year. I’ve spent the last year watching girls pick her apart in mean ways that I would have never imagined anyone doing. My sister has the opposite problem as me; she was being teased for being skinny. I started to notice similar events showing up on TV. It seems that society is creating a culture were, immaturity, bullying, and insecurities are expected from girls.

In today’s world the modern women is strong and independent. Since the idea that a woman was just as capable as any man was first brought to the table in 1848, women have been nothing but innovative, repeatedly proving they play a major role in society. In the article “Girls Will Be Girls” The author Margaret Talbot states “Creaky perennial questions about a women’s ambit have finally been laid to rest: virtually no one in American Public life seriously worries that higher education spoils a women, and fewer and fewer fret that working outside the home warps her destiny.” Women have clearly proven their point, but have the girls of today taken the idea of the modern women and run with it so far they have ended up running it off a cliff? Recently, girls are so eager to be all they can be, they do not stop to think how they have done it. They are just willing to go to all cost in order to achieve their goals. There is nothing wrong with giving everything you’ve got but, there is something wrong with degrading other women just to get what they want rather than making a smart decision they exemplify themselves as bad individual. The women’s right act was created by a group of women who had fought together to achieve their goals and it never mattered who got the credit because they were there to pick each other up. There was no need to push each other down so one girl can feel good instead of a team of girls.

Have you turned on the TV lately? Have you considered what you are watching? The shows being played for young girls consist of Jersey Shore, the Real Housewives Of “every sport and or state,” The Bad Girls Club, Keeping up with the Kardashians and The Secret Life of American Teenagers. If you have ever seen any of these shows you know each one has young girls making mistakes and tearing into each other. Each one of these shows, show girls it’s okay to sleep around, act likes a bitch to everyone, and then if anyone says anything to you about it it’s okay to through a fist at them. Are we aware of the way a 13, 14 or 17 year old girl may absorb these shows. Paul Nathanson, conducted a study on how teenage girls react to press ads. Nathanson, showed collectively girls found ads to be fun that insinuated a underline message of sex or violence. One girl in Nathanson study clams “I just wish I could look like the model after drinking loads of coke and eating greasy hotdogs.” Middle school and High School is a hard emotional time for teens. Everyone is going through an awkward stage and kids are mean anyway. There is nothing as damaging as mean girl on top of that. Your little girl may not be the one who is instigating or eating these TV shows up like they are the girls guide to high school but there is a good chance she is being affected by the girl that thinks they are the bible.

There is not much room for mistakes in such a fast moving world that we are having to keep up with. A women by the name Kate Engelbrecht conducted a two year research project called “The Girl Project” where she sent out 5,000 questionnaires and Kodak cameras to girls between the ages of 13 and 18. Englebrecht received 1,000 responses where girls really went into their feelings. Englebrecht’s research found most girls are afraid to fail. The more I thought about the results of “The Girl Project” it accrued to me that this related strongly to what had happened to me. If I would have failed once in school, the kind of grief I would have had to endure. Girls are afraid of the disappointment people will have in them and more importantly the number of girls that will hop right on the band wagon to take their turn at taking digs. It’s sad that these girls do not have girlfriend that they can trust without any doubt or fear in mind. Instead the majority of girls today have friends that seem to last no more than a week. Girls do not want to tell them anything for fear they won’t be friends in two seconds, and the girl will use that information and tell everyone.

People have a tendency to judge a situation before fully understanding what’s going on. I’ve notice it more in girls when another girl has looked at her or some girl posts a comment on Facebook that is clearly referring to some situation. Before knowing the full situation, girls will think the worst and assume it’s about them. This anxiety is created by girls trying to impress or becoming jealous over a boy. Girls are assuming that every other girl on earth wants the same guy she is after. Laurie Halse Anderson wrote an article titled “Mean Girls”. Her article is about the environment created by girls in their young lives. In the article she writes “A girls lasting sense of self-worth is often developed in these power struggles.” Boys are being allowed to cheat on their girlfriends or string three or four girls around at one time. Girls stick around thinking they can change his ways and one day he will love just them. Wrong, the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. When the girls keep going back to guys after they have messed up or cheated on them, girls are only saying it’s okay that you cheated and you can do it again because I will always come back. This kind of action is creating some of the jealousy and hate between girls. If every girl left the guy after they pull a stunt like that and blamed them for their actions, there would be a few guys that thought it though before cheating again and there would not be so many jealous girls.

So what are we teaching young girls? That you should never be close to anyone? That it’s okay to throw a temper tantrum at sixteen as long as another girl looked at you funny? That is okay to assume what others are thinking? The only way to get ahead in this world is to tear others who may have a better chance then you down? You can think she is just a teen a girl, but I’m seeing girls being controlled by jealousy of other girls and growing up to be immature women. In high school I was given the nick name “Tubby” It didn’t matter that I was a size seven and on the varsity soccer team. It was given to me by a girl who at the time was trying to be vindictive for reasons that I do not know. But she called me it once and that’s all it took for the other girls to think it was a joke and harmless, so it stuck. I never considered myself to be fat but I listened to it for two years and now I have a weight complex. We may not be setting out with intentions to show girls that nasty is normal but one time of even insinuating that it’s okay and it will snowball out of control.

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