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Read Before You Judge

The child cried—he was hungry. There was no money for formula, so his fourteen year old mother had begun to water his down to make it last longer. His diaper was wet, there were only a few left and they had to wait for their next state check to buy more. There would be no support from the infant’s fifteen year old father, what could a kid that age do for a living anyway?

The mother’s parents were not much help. Obviously, if they had been doing their parental duty in the first place, their teenage daughter would not be a mother now.

But she loved her baby, loved him more than life itself ... whatever life she had been given by her own parents in the first place.

She had gotten pregnant deliberately. She wanted someone to love and to be loved by. She was thirteen when she had conceived.

She was fourteen now, and watching her baby lose weight because his formula was two-thirds water; she was FOURTEEN, alone and, had no idea where to go to get help.

She rarely went to school any more, they did not seem too concerned about that, after all very few schools catered to eighth grade mothers.

There were times when the baby’s screaming drove her crazy, she vowed that she would never strike her child, she had read all about shaking baby syndrome, but SOMETIMES, SOMETIMES, she had to leave the room so as not to violate that vow. The question is, how much longer can a fourteen year old maintain that level of control?

You were fourteen once.

Now as the baby screams, not because he’s bad, because, he is hungry, wet, overtired, under stimulated, at his last clinic appointment the physician had expressed some concern about his delayed development. What could a child-mother do, she was not even developing in a timely manner. She had stalled. That is easy to do for any first time mother-be they thirteen or thirty. When all your social interaction is with a nine-month-old child-you will begin to lose your social abilities.

She couldn’t work; there was no sitter for her to go to school. What difference did that make any way? Her peers were still arguing with their parents for the right to date, she had skipped that point in her own life. Her school friends were still having slumber parties. She spent her nights walking a screaming baby until he finally exhausted himself enough to go to sleep.

She asked herself why she hadn’t given her baby up for adoption, but she knew the answer. He was hers. She had carried him for nine months, had spent hours in labor, and delivery, had held him first, had seen him first ... had fallen in love for the first time in her life. Giving him up was not an option in her book.

But he cried, and he needed so much, he needed to be held, loved, taught-what could a fourteen-year-old girl do?

Many people would suggest that she not have gotten pregnant in the first place-but as her grandmother had always said when she was still living, “Hindsight is twenty-twenty.”

Many people—generally judgmental—would say that abortion was another word for murder. Some would go so far as to pretend they know what the fetus is feeling throughout the procedure. None of those people will claim to know what the infant is feeling while he is sitting in his soggy diaper, his stomach hurting because watered down formula did not fill him up. The child who even at nine months old was not crawling, was barely sitting up, and had only within the past two months begun to roll over. The baby whose gums were sore and swollen, and his young mother couldn’t figure out WHY HE NEVER, EVER STOPPED CRYING?!

Which is worse—death in thirty minutes, or death drawn out over several years?! That sounds cold, but until you have heard your child scream with hunger, seen the angry blistering rash that formed because there were no diapers, seen him shivering in the cold because you couldn’t pay the heat bill-you have no idea whether that child should have been born or not.

There is a group of self-righteous individuals out there who call themselves “pro lifers,” though you will never hear them call themselves “pro quality of lifers.”

Before we climb up on our soap box, and tell everyone else how to live their lives around our individualized options—let’s ask ourselves two questions—if you were covered in aching blisters, and hungry, and cold, with no known allies-would you want to continue living? Particularly-if your form of life support was failing ... a parent is an infant’s life support. And-if you couldn’t speak to express your discomfort with the hope that it could somehow be relieved-wouldn’t you rather have the one person you trust most in the world make the right decision for you. What if you knew ahead of time that you would end up in just that condition? And, that it would go on for the rest of your life, but you could stop it from happening in thirty minutes or less of your time?

Religious zealots would scream that God gave you the gift of life from the moment you were conceived. The Bible says-God gave all humans free will-He was not in that bedroom the night those children decided to conceive-not physically-and conception is a purely physical act.

I don’t know about your God, but my God gave his only son to die for our sins, and to RELIEVE OUR SUFFERING. He does not want His children to suffer. And you created in His own image-do not want your child to suffer. However, it is okay with you as you preach from your own pulpit-if other people’s children suffer.

I personally am not pro abortion, but I am pro life-not just existence, but quality of life. I have seen far too much suffering of children who perhaps should have been returned to their Heavenly Father before their own suffering began.

When I see an infant who is unwashed, carrying marks he shouldn’t be, and being denied the very sustenance that will maintain his life, because the parents are afraid to use up all the formula-never knowing where it will come from next-I have to ask myself-was this child better off by being born?

When I was a young, first time mother I was just like other young first time mothers I abhorred the very thought of abortion. I did not have the experience then that I do now I had not been exposed yet to the intense suffering of other children. That was twenty-one years ago, I have learned an awful lot in that time.

When you decide to make another woman’s decision for her, why don’t you be the one providing her infant’s day to day care, make sure he is fed, and changed whenever necessary-bathed, and interacted with? Make sure he gets the doctor when he needs to, and be willing to pick up the tab when he gets there. Remember, though that you who made the decision alone, must be the caretaker alone.

Remember too that many people have been killed for safely aborting children, I am not sure that death for death is the answer either.

People will continue getting abortions for whatever reason that is theirs, and theirs alone. NOT YOURS—in your ivory tower, and your judge’s robes.

Even if we manage to outlaw safe, clean abortions, abortions will be taking place by laymen in back alleys with coat hangers, and aspirin-as history has shown.

If you truly want to lessen an infant’s suffering, let them be aborted by skilled physicians with medical training, and sterile instruments. Because if they are not doing it, someone with little to no training will be. Now you will not only have cost the child his life-if the abortion is not botched, but quite possibly the parent’s life as well. If you think that is okay, then you DARE NOT call yourself “pro life.”

One more point to make about “back alley” abortions, is this, sometimes these abortions are botched, and the child who could have been properly aborted, will now be born limbless, and hungry, and dirty, and under developed. If you are okay with that, perhaps your own parents should have been pro abortion.

If you feel that living like that is better than not living at all-why don’t you remove your infant’s limbs, and remind them every day of how lucky they are to have been born.

In conclusion, very few make abortion their first choice. A lot of thought goes into that decision, and plenty of guilt will follow it. They loved their child enough to stop their suffering before it started.

You make the decisions that are best for you, and your family, and let others make the decisions that are best for them. In the end they will be the only one living with that choice, that is between themselves, and their God. Just like yours are between you and yours. If you are not financially able to support every unwanted, or unneeded child in this country then, be quiet, and take care of your own.

After all, how would you have liked some one screaming in your face, passing judgment on you, and/or shooting at you because you chose not to get an abortion?

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