Menu Join now Search

Save Your Sympathy Sweetie

Our waitress couldn’t have been more than nine-teen-years-old.

Kim and I were at the least objectionable of the three licensed restaurants at a suburban mall, chosen because it had lots of parking and was equal driving distance for both of us.

The server’s hair was perfect, her thick makeup expertly applied. She was bubbly and enthusiastic—too bubbly and enthusiastic. Her forced cheer made it clear she had us pegged.

Oh God, a couple of moms on the townpoor things. This must be a big night out for them. Better not let them sense my pity or they’ll start acting bitchy.

And I looked across the table at Kim, who I first met almost a dozen years ago when she was a twenty-one-year cocktail waitress and I was bartending at the infamous nightspot in our home town. And something unspoken passed between us.

Kim knew what I wanted to say.

I wanted to say that my best friend and I hadn’t always hemmed and hawed before deciding it would be okay to split a half litre of wine. That we hadn’t always stopped to consider whether a fried appetizer would wreak havoc on our stomachs.

I wanted to say that ten years ago we would have been cracking wise about music and clothes and flirting with the hotties at the bar, not hauling our kids’ pictures out of our wallets and telling story after story about the funny things they said.

I wanted to say that ten years ago we wouldn’t have planned this night weeks in advance and we wouldn’t have been caught dead in this cheesy bar, in this cheesy mall, no matter how convenient and plentiful its parking.

I wanted to say that ten years ago I would never have glanced at my watch and winced to see that it was already 9:45 p.m.

But I didn’t say anything. Neither did Kim.

We just smiled at each other. Happy, secure, amused.

Because our waitress couldn’t have been more than nine-teen-years old.

And she couldn’t possibly know that the middle-aged moms splitting an appetizer and a half litre of wine would have given her pert, little ass a run for its money in their day.

Photo Courtesy of Don Mills Diva

More You'll Love

5 Affordable Engagement Ring Trends That Are Going To Be Huge This Year
13 Stylish Storage Containers To Combat Clutter
8 Black Friday Shopping Tips To Make The Most Out Of The Sales
This Is The Affordable Kitchen Tool Your Apartment Needs
Your Dorm Room Needs This Major Urban Outfitters Home Sale
Athleisure-Inspired Gifts For Your Fab Fit Friend
These Cult-Favorite Leggings Are Back In Stock At Nordstrom Right Now
Saks Fifth Avenue Is Having A Sale On All The Best Travel Accessories
Back To School? Amazon Prime Day Has Deals On Everything You’ll Ever Need