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So What’s Your Baby’s Zodiac Sign?

n Mommyland, you’ve got your SAHM’s (Stay At Home Moms) and you’ve got your WAHM’s (Work At Home Moms). Well I am a WOOTH Mom (Work Outside Of The Home Mom). And I admit it; I’m envious of the SAHM’s and WAHM’s. I mean, come on, who wants to be called a “WOOTH!”

Making friends post college is not an easy thing to do. If you’re lucky you join a hip young company with co-workers the same age as you are. Maybe you get married and live in a trendy apartment complex with other couples such as yourself. But more than likely making new friends, after your college friends move away, is harder than dating.

That’s why I was kind of excited for more ways than one when I knew I was going to become a mom—automatic enrollment into the Mommy Club. I didn’t read the fine print on WOOTHs, though. WOOTHs are different. We have different schedules and different ideas on activities and what to do in our free time. I’m not sure if any Mommy and Me classes are offered at 5:00 a.m., before work, but I doubt it. I’m also not sure if I could coordinate a play date to have little Emmy come over for bedtime books.

Yes, as a WOOTH, I sit and wonder what the WAHMs and SAHMs are doing today. Are they at the park coming up with ways to reward perfect potty days? Are they exchanging recipes for Play Doh? Are they in their living rooms dancing with Ellen?

Knowing it is what it is, I’ve decided to seek out other WOOTHs and cross my fingers I find a few. Here’s my ad I plan to submit to WOOTH Monthly:

Married WOOTH Mom, thirty-three, with two girls (two and a half and three months) seeking married or single WOOTH Mom of girls or boys. Looking for a good time at Target on Saturday morning to talk in the endless lines or at the park at peak time on Saturday afternoon. Perhaps an evening of folding laundry would be fun.  Must be interested in, but not limited to the following, Dora, Nemo, Clifford, Cheez It’s, stickers on your face, “Wheels on the Bus” twenty times in a row, tummy time, and strategy sessions on becoming a WAHM or SAHM.

I hope I get lucky!

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