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Is Texting Taking Over Your Teen?

Have you ever found yourself mourning the days when your teens actually talked on their phones instead of constantly tap, tapping on their tiny keypads? (And having such exciting conversations, too: “Wut up?” “Nm.U?” “NM.”) 

More than 75 billion text messages are sent each month, and teens 13 to 17 are the biggest texters of all. They average 2,272 text messages a month, according to the Nielsen company—that’s almost 77 messages a day. So what is the impact on our kids?

Kids Communicate Through Texts

  • Texting is the #2 use of cellphones—after checking the time
  • Kids send billions of texts every year—and it’s increasing
  • Text messages connect kids instantly—and privately
  • Text messages and images can be spread virally or uploaded
  • Texting has a language of its own
  • “Sexting” happens: Kids send inappropriate images or sexual messages
  • The incidence of cheating through texting is on the rise


Texting Is Becoming the #1 Form of Communication
Billions of text messages are sent every year from our kids’ mobile phones. These SMS (simple message service) messages can be up to 160 characters and can contain images and video. Kids routinely use abbreviated language to communicate (ttyl means talk to you later, OMG stands for Oh, my God!, etc.). While most kids use messaging responsibly, it’s still a powerful and extremely private communication tool that needs to be used responsibly. (For tips on how to text message, click here.)

Why Understanding Texting Is Important
Texting is totally portable, private, and immediate. Kids can send messages to anyone from anywhere at anytime. In other words, they have no boundaries unless we help them to establish some. Almost no research has been done on the impact of immediate communication on our kids’ social development. But the instant gratification factor of getting instantaneous responses from friends has to have some affect. Any parent who has been at the dinner table or on a hike with a child only to have their pockets buzz with an incoming message knows that texts take your kids out of the moment they are in and connect them to distant friends. Texts can be used to keep friends close, help parents figure out family logistics, and offer a wonderful way to share experiences.

But as with any powerful tool, texting can also be used to bully or humiliate people. An embarrassing or upsetting image or video can quickly be transmitted or uploaded to on online video sharing site like YouTube. Kids have to know that the abusing the privilege of texting will have consequences. And sadly, the use of texting in school cheating is on the rise as answers can be swiftly passed from student to student.

Parent Tips

  • Carefully evaluate whether or not your kids need texting on their cellphones. Just because other kids in their class have it doesn’t mean your child needs it.
  • If your kids do text, get an unlimited texting plan. Otherwise the charges mount up swiftly.
  • Make rules around when and where. No texting during meals, during class, on family outings. Oh, and turn the phone OFF at night!
  • Establish consequences for misuse. Cheating, inappropriate messages, sexual communication. These are all no-go’s. Want to make your point? Take a kid’s phone away for a week.
  • Watch your own behavior. Parents are still kids’ playbooks for right and wrong. If you text your kid during class and then turn around and tell that child that he or she can’t do that, we send mixed messages.
  • If you suspect your kids aren’t texting appropriately, you can always look at their messages. Yes, it feels like snooping, but our first job as parents is to ensure our kids use powerful technologies safely and responsibly.

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