I am too young to be a mother. My mother, thinks I’m too young to be a mother. My father, well lets just say he has no say on me being a mother. And by the grace of whatever higher being is out there watching me, I’m going to be a mother in four months.
I do not know how to pass on my views as a parent, because I have separated parents who have two opposite reactions to everything on this planet. For instance I have no idea on whether or not to force your kid to go to church with you every Sunday. Both of my parents since the days I can remember still scream about such nonsense.
So how do you find yourself? I can not rely on the one I love, for he is his own being, and I need to be me. If I pass on my mothers views, the child will get constant feedback from his grandpa on how reckless his mother is. If I give the child the thoughts of my father, his grandmother will criticize me on my hypocritical ways.
So who am I to become a mother? I have opposite views on everything and I barely know what is up or down, because I am forced into believing whatever one side of the story is told to me. So what about this child? I do not want him to become just as confused and disordered as I am.
So how do you find yourself?
I guess praying is all I can do.