Turn up the Volume
Its easy to lose ourselves underneath the piles of responsibility. Its even easier to forget who we are. I used to be young and free; I used to be independent and confident; I used to be me. I used to have dreams, aspirations, talents, and a name. Now, I was his wife and their mom–and who was to blame? Somewhere along this road my voice had been muted; but, there came a day I decided to turn up the volume.
I love my husband and I am glad he is the man I married. I always wanted to be a mom and I have been gifted three amazing children–each different in their own way. I had all of this and I wanted more? Yes. I felt lost below it all.
My husband owns a successful business, my children have countless activities and their successes were my focus. My job was to assist, prepare, drive, and schedule. I was a maid, a cook, a chauffer, a secretary, a tutor–and held many more titles than that. I struggled for months trying to find a place in my life that was all my own. I wasn’t trying to be selfish, I was just trying to find out where I went. Looking from the outside in, one would think I had it all. But I knew something was missing and it was me.
I began with making time for me. I soon realized my husband was capable of handling things for a few hours, even a few days. I had friends who were in similar situations, so I planned a girls trip. This break made a world of difference. It was an opportunity to have a great time with girlfriends and know that things were taken care of at home. Little breaks like this made me a better wife, a better mother.
My next step was to get involved. I chose a cause that was close to me and began volunteering. I started my own small business and even went back to school. And guess what? It works. There are obstacles that cause doubt, but someway things always seem to work out. I think the busier we are, the more we can accomplish.
I know my choices may not be right for everyone, but they have been for me. I knew that if I didn’t change, nothing would change. I didn’t want to settle for that. I’m still his wife and their mother and wouldn‘t change that for the world, but its nice to hear, Oh, you must be Alaina’s husband, or son, or daughter, once in a while.