Twin – Dumb
I admit, I knew very little about reproduction until I found out at seven weeks pregnant that I was expecting twins. I made it my mission from that day forward to learn all there was to know, in hopes that I would discover the answer to the question that plagued me, “WHY, GOD?? WHY?!” Up until that point I didn’t really care to know the details of where babies came from. I mean, I knew the fun stuff, but not much else. I learned a lot of valuable information during those thirty-seven weeks, but so much more in the months that followed.
After Saniya and Saadia were born, I realized that each person I encountered was dumber than the next! It never occurred to me how little people knew about twins until I had a set of my own. In order to spare your embarrassment, and the time of some poor exhausted Mom of Twins, here is a little bit of information:
- Twins occur when either a single egg splits (forming identical twins), or when two eggs are fertilized (forming fraternal twins). Fathers of twins are NOT studs. He did nothing to cause this miracle to occur. Sorry fellas, you may be “The Man” but not because you have twins! Twins run on the mother’s side always. So you look silly when you say your husband is a twin so you expected a set of your own.
- There are two main types of twins; Identical and Fraternal. There is no such thing as Paternal, Maternal, or Internal Twins. Seriously folks, get a dictionary, you embarrass me!
- Girl/Boy twins can not be identical. I’ll let you figure that one out on your own.
- Would you ask a busty woman if she had breast implants? Probably not. So why would you ask a mother if her twins were “Natural”? Of course they are natural. They are living, breathing people. Don’t ask how they came to be conceived.
- You can not classify one twin as the “shy one” or the “smart one” etc. I assure you that on any given day, those children will change personalities so many times your head will spin.
- Dinner out with young children is rough enough, please don’t add to the chaos by hovering over the table staring. It’s rude.
- This may be a personal preference, but it makes me uncomfortable to discuss my vagina with strangers. Don’t ask the details of child birth with someone you barely know.
- If you happen upon a mother of twins, it’s nice to say “You are blessed.” It’s not nice to say “God, bless you!” as if she’s been cursed!
I hope that these little tidbits will come to mind the next time you encounter a set of twins. If you can’t remember what I’ve shared here, just smile and say “Boy, you have your hands full!” We appreciate that, just don’t expect more than a smile and a nod in return, because you are the seventy-fifth person to say that today, and we’ve run out of witty responses.