Today was the twins’, C and O, two year doctor appointment. Oh, wait. Let me start again. Today was the twins two year doctor appointment and they had NO nap. Feel it coming?
The first thing we learned after getting into the room was that they have progressed to the big scale in the hallway. The “hallway” is a very narrow one, lined both with patient rooms and the doctor’s offices, as well as desktops mounted on the walls for nurses ... and again, it’s NARROW ... oh and busy ... and around the corner and two halls down from our room. Again, feel it coming?
Let me recant the journey to the scale for you:
Nurse: They get to go to the scale in the hall now.
Me: Are you kidding?
Nurse: What do you need help with?
Me: (Just starring at her)
Me: (Coming out of it) Okay boys, let’s go.
(C starts crying. I pick him up, take O’s hand and we walk to the scale.)
Nurse to C: Okay let’s get you on there.
C: (Whining and refusing to get on ... purposely falling off as soon as he is put on it)
Me: (On my knees next to C) Come on C, it’s only for a second.
Me: (In mid-beg to C to get on the scale, I glance to where O WAS in this very busy narrow hall ... seeing O heading into a doctor’s office)
Nurse: (Just standing there)
Me: O, get back here please! (run to get O, tripping over a perturbed doctor in the process, C following and whining.
Nurse: Let’s try that one, who is he again?
Me: (Staring at nurse again) “That’s O. Okay O, how about you try it.”
(O gets on scale and then goes to wall to be measured. Thank you O!)
Nurse: Okay C, your turn.
C: (Whining loudly ... sounding something like “no freaking way lady!” if his whines would be translated since he still does not use words)
Me: Okay C, how about I get your binky. If you have your binky will you stand on the scale?
C: (Face lights up and hands shake in excitement)
Me: (to Nurse) Can you watch O for a second while I go get the binky from the room?
(C and I go back two halls over to get binky. When I turn around, while still in our room, to go back—both O and Nurse are standing there. WTH?!)
Me: Okay boys, let’s go back.
(C starts crying again wanting held, I pick him up. O starts running, out the door and down another hall the opposite direction of the scale. I run after him dodging the nurses at the nurse desks lining the walls and the doctors in this narrow hallway—did I mention it was a VERY narrow and VERY busy hallway? Finally catch up to O—thinking to myself why is no one helping me? Clearly he is an escapee. Where is the fricking nurse that said she would help?— and finally get back to the scale.)
Nurse: C can you get up on the scale?
C: (Whine and cry)
Me: (Down on my knees again, at his level) C we had an agreement. I gave you the binky and in exchange you agreed to get on the scale.
C: (reluctantly gets on the scale)
Me: (Thankful I packed the binky for a possible emergency AND amazed that the negotiation even worked! Basking in the glory for one second ... then ... wait ... where the heck is O?!)
Nurse: (Just standing there.)
(Find O rounding another hallway and bring him back, along with C who of course followed on my heels still whining.)Nurse: C can you come be measured please?
C: (Looking at me like ‘do I have to?’)
Me: (Giving him the “do it or the binky dies!” look ... all while restraining the Olympic sprinter—O—who is trying hard to break free.)
C: (Reluctantly goes to be measured while whining.)
Nurse: All done. Now that wasn’t so bad was it?
Me: (Thinking ‘if I didn’t know that you come back and give my babies shots after their appointment, I may have just…”)
When we got back to the room I was sweating … profusely.
However, it did get easier. The doctor was in shortly, so we didn’t have to wait too long with napless whiny boys who didn’t want to be in the cramped room with a sweaty mommy ... especially since they knew of the fun halls that were outside the door.
The appointment went relatively well, after which I was given the twins height/weight stats ... along with O’s running stat ... a 7 second 100 meter sprint. Not bad ....