What a Difference a Year Makes
We are now TEN days away from our due date! I’m also only seven days away from my blogoversary!
When I first started this little dog-and-pony show, I never imagined how much could change in a year. And, ironically enough, I started the blog to document what I thought were big changes—the move to Chicago, Ricky’s new job, my (now defunct) job hunt. You know—new city, new friends, new adventures.
Little did I know the adventures we’d be having! Especially since this time last year we didn’t think this was an adventure we would ever get.
Four years ago, Ricky and I really wanted a baby. For a year, we tried and we tried but it just didn’t happen. So we did all the testing. The not-fun, invasive testing, which only adds insult to injury by telling you at the end that it’s probably never going to happen. We were devastated.
At the time I was part of a message board of other women trying to have babies and what I noticed was that when other couples got a similar diagnosis, their lives (the women especially) were suddenly CONSUMED with having a baby. They would do whatever it took, pay whatever they had to pay, only sleep with their husbands when they were ovulating, because they didn’t want to “waste” anything.
I knew I didn’t want that to become us. Ricky and I had a great life—we adored each other, had jobs we loved, awesome friends and family. Yes, we wanted something that we might not ever have, but that didn’t negate all the good in our life. So we got some perspective. If someday we had a baby, great. If not, our lives were pretty fantastic anyway.
Now before I start sounding like Pollyanna, let me assure you there were times when we were still sad. Times when I was so jealous of friends who got pregnant on their first try that I could have turned green with envy. But we really worked on it not changing us as a couple. Or if it did change us, we tried to let it bring us closer together.
And slowly but surely it got easier. We still thought about it from time to time and discussed other options, but we didn’t pine for it like we once had.
Fast forward to last year—we moved to Chicago, excited about starting new lives in a big city, not thinking babies AT ALL and BAM! I’m pregnant. We were thrilled, but we were also terrified. This was no longer part of our plan, at least not now. Ricky was swamped with his new job. We were at a place (finally!) to really pay down some debt. I was planning on giving the old theatre career another go. And we’re having a baby NOW?
(I know, I know. I go back and read that last paragraph and realize how ridiculous it sounds. After years of wanting something, we finally get it and we have the nerve to question it? Forgive us, we were a little overwhelmed.)
And then, we had our first doctor’s appointment and saw our little guy for the first time. And we realized—yes, we should be having a baby, THIS baby, now.
Three years ago, as we went through the testing, I never could have imagined this. Last year as I started this blog and prepared to move to Chicago I never could have imagined this.
So now I can only wonder, what will the next year bring? I do know I can’t wait to find out.