With my husband leaving for Iraq soon, for the first time, I feel that I need to come to terms with his impending absence. We have a seven-month-old together and have only been married since June of 2007. It isn’t that I think that our marriage won’t survive the deployment, I have faith in us as a team. What I find that I am lacking is faith in myself. I don’t believe in taking medications to even me out or calm me down. Do what you will, but I don’t choose to.
I have been told to get a hobby, get involved with the FRG, take enrichment classes, and several more very nice options, but I still think I will have a hard time keeping my mind occupied. As a stay-at-home mom, I have several activities to keep me busy. (Did I mention Ian, the very adventurous seven-month-old?) Between reading, crocheting, gardening, and quilting, I am sorry, but another hobby isn’t going to help matters. Getting involved with women who only want to spend money to have fun really isn’t my cup of tea. I am already enrolled online at my local college to finish out my degree, so I am covered there.
What I am saying is I have found ways to busy myself as it is, and yet here I am wondering if there isn’t more I could be doing. How much more is there to do? I have always been a busy girl, but now with my husband leaving, I don’t know what to do with myself. At least when he is here I get my thirty-minute break and my sleep-in on Saturday morning. I kid you not, the man is a saint! That may not sound like much to some, but for me it is plenty. You know how people say there are only so many hours in the day? Well, for me there are too many. I don’t drink more than two glasses of tea a day, coffee is a rarity, so don’t assume that I am just hyped up on caffeine. I just can’t stand sitting around having myself a pity party. I am just afraid that under the pressure to “step up and solider through it” that I will crack. I don’t want to lose my focus on my goals in the coming year, but I don’t want to get burnt out either. I can’t talk to my husband about this because I don’t want to distract him from his job.