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When Cancer Strikes Close to Home

I recently learned that my mother has breast cancer and she actually doesn’t want me to know about it.  My eldest sister shared it with me (I’m the youngest female of my siblings) because she couldn’t keep it to herself any longer. Right away I asked, “Why does she not want me to know?” My sister said that my mother feels I have enough on my mind and that I do not need more added to it. At first, I was angry with her! Then, I realized that a mother’s heart never ceases to try to protect her children from harm and pain. Then the tears flowed and they haven’t stopped ever since. I’m not supposed to know but God only knows how I long for her to tell me herself so that I can comfort her as much as I possibly can. But, I respect her wishes and I’m hurting in silence for her.

My mother wasn’t the perfect mother to say the least, but nonetheless, she’s my mother.  I wonder that if the same thing happened to me would I hide it from my girls. I have an eight-year-old and an almost three-year-old. They are so young and my eldest is very close to her grandmother and actually looks a lot like her. How would she handle the news? Will I have to tell her soon if something went wrong?

There are so many women that face this disease on their own, and others, have their family’s support throughout the whole thing. With hope, they make it through together and find it cured in the end. My heart goes out to both types, but mostly to those women who by choice face it alone because they want to keep their loved ones from the pain and agony of watching her suffer.

In the past my mother wasn’t much of an example, but in her old age she has surprised me many a times with her wisdom and caring heart. I hope I can be half the mother she is, in the sense that she never gave up on any of us or herself. She continues to have faith and I know that soon she will tell me herself and then I’ll be able to offer the comfort I long to give her. For now I pray silently with my heart in hand, hoping for a miracle.

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