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I read a book this weekend that has changed my (career) life. It is called Escape from Cubicle Nation by Pamela Skillings. It is precisely about that. The book discusses why corporate America is so rough, and then precedes to discuss how to be a business owner. The fact that the book touched on many aspects of my life that I have not been attune to, it also assisted me in formulating what to do from here. Because I am not a creative person in terms of strategic planning or even in my weekend plans, I desire assistance. Books are the best place to find the answer to any problem. Same thing with the Internet.

While in college, my goal, my ultimate dream was to earn $50,000 a year after graduation. Even though this was completely idealistic, I didn’t doubt my abilities. I earned good grades, my extracurriculars were strong, and I was ambitious. I didn’t think that an employer needed anything else. I also scoped out all the Fortune 500 firms I wanted to work for after I graduated. Once I began working at career, I realized that a salary of less than $50,000 would do me just fine for several years; the company would do me fine for several years. And it has.

At this juncture, I am dealing with a quarter life crisis. The age of reasoning and life regret. I am still a postgraduate. Despite being three years into my career field, I am still a postgraduate twenty-something. I am at a time in my life that is scary. I am in the place of experience yet not the salary range of an experienced professional. To have garnered the gig I did at my age is impressive. I am not disputing that. I am merely analyzing my current job role and pondering what is next for me. I have worked for three years in three different departments. All were unique job responsibilities where the capability to develop and hone my skills were utilized. I would even say that being good at my job was not a factor I was comfortable in until six months ago. I battled my confidence level often. In my mind, I thought that if I made mistakes, I was bad at it even if I understood and comprehended my job function.

My current position is much more complicated, but I have given myself liberty to mess up with an objective outlook. This displays the confidence I have attained in recent years, which is giving me the confidence to think about changing my life situation.
I know there is a lot of I am capable of doing in my life. I wonder if this is my last stop until I am at the age to be considered “experienced.” It is so important to be ready to make change and to put energy out for what the goals may be. When I was younger, my ambition knew no bounds. I was unbelievably fearless with the steps I took to my goal. I was brazen and impulsive, not taking the time to plan or think about the consequences.

I don’t know where the courage I possessed went. I am still fearless, but there is more caution now. I suppose, it is because I know the consequences of my actions if I am to jump haphazardly. My father told me that was what is so great about wisdom: you are young enough to want to do it, but old enough to know better. I would compare finding another job or another job experience, just as frightening as jumping out of a plane. There are only two choices for the aftermath such as surviving and loving the adventure or falling face first on the ground. There are similarities with a new job venture. There is either getting the job or failing. Yet so many people are afraid of change or sacrificing comfortability; however, comfortability breeds discomfort, in my opinion. This does mean that I am too comfortable, complacent even. How do you weigh the importance of providing for your lifestyle or living your dream? How do you know that it is time for something different? To visualize my future goals, it is simple. To accomplish them, I am at a standstill. In fact, I am nauseated. Questions are swirling in my mind:

Am I good at it?
Will other people like it?
Will I fail?
Will I lose momentum?

First, if I am going to pursue something out of my comfort threshold, I better be good at it. I am not of the age anymore where I can attempt to “wing it.” There is learning, practice, and formulation, however, I don’t have the patience for that.

Why should I be worrying about whether people will like it? I am not here for approval of others yet the approval of what I offer is the key to an audience, which equals professional success.

I could fail. This part scares me the most. I could fail at anything.

Losing momentum for what I intend to do is a possibility. One of my weaknesses is that I have many ideas and goals, and I can lose interest in them before I even start them. It is not because I lack motivation. It could just be because I am lazy or even more so, I don’t know how to get my ideas moving.

Right now, I don’t have much to lose. It is a better time than later since I am still a postgraduate twenty-something.

Yet, I am still scared.