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Scream-and-Run Scary Halloween Pumpkin Pie!

I wonder why nobody makes a pumpkin pie just for Halloween eating. I mean, what’s the use of a regular pumpkin pie on a holiday that’s already rife with sweets? (And isn’t Halloween spooky enough for us poor dieters?)

I bought a pumpkin I intended to carve up this year—a fairly large one with a dark orange ugly rough rind. Afterward, I remembered I’m headed for a Halloween party in another town and wouldn’t need the jack-o’-lantern, but the party hostess said she would use it for decoration.

After removing as much of the hideous pumpkin’s insides as I could, I carved out the face. Then I set about inventing a recipe for a pie that, like the pumpkin it was made from, would be very ugly, gritty, unsweetened, and really loaded with roughage!

I picked out all the seeds, toasted them on a lightly greased baking sheet for half an hour at 250°, let them cool, and crushed them up with a hammer. Then I steamed the flesh for half an hour, including the eyes, nose, and mouth pieces (with their rinds) that I had cut out for the face. I mashed, chilled, and measured it, and pieced together ingredients and instructions on paper. (I had to figure out what resources I wanted to use up.) I had a little over 1-1/2 quarts of steamed pumpkin, so I figured on putting together a 1-1/2 recipe. I didn’t know what to do about pie pans, then finally decided to make one very small (4-3/4” diameter) pie at a time, since I live alone, have a favorite tiny pan, and like it hot. I’m not sharing more than a bite or so of Scream-and-Run Scary Halloween Pumpkin Pie with anyone else, because, well, they’ll scream and run!

For the pie crust dough I mixed together 3 cups Hodgson Mills’ whole grain rye flour (which is the only flour I ever use), a cup of locally grown unmilled flaxseed, and 1/2 tablespoon sea salt. I had roughly 7/8 of a cup of raw sesame oil I wanted to use up, so I stirred that in. Then I put an egg in a glass with one 1/2 cup of water, whipped it around with a fork for a minute, mixed that in, and kneaded the ball of dough on the lightly floured/seeded counter. I pressed as much of the dough I needed into the tiny pan, put it in the refrigerator, and preheated my toaster oven to 450°.

Per quart of pumpkin, I figured on two eggs, 3/4 cup of evaporated milk, a couple of heaping tablespoons of powdered cinnamon, and a cup each of unmilled flaxseed, chopped walnuts, and raisins. Since I had over 1-1/2 quarts of the pumpkin, I beat three eggs really well in my largest mixing bowl. I then mixed in the pumpkin, 1-1/8 cup of the evaporated milk, and 3 heaping tablespoons of cinnamon. I folded in the crushed toasted pumpkin seeds, then 1-1/2 cups each of flaxseed, walnuts, and raisins. I sprinkled ground allspice on the bottom of the little piecrust (though I would’ve used up the pumpkin pie spice had I known at the time I had some left), then added the pumpkin mixture to the top of the pan. I baked it at 450° for twenty minutes, then turned the heat down to 350° for another forty minutes. Wow. What an ugly pie! Really filled me up, though. After that, I was done after only five marshmallows (not fifty)!