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The Stay Home Mom and the Working Mom

Why must we define motherhood as the “stay home mom” and the “working mom?”

Are you able to drop the label?

For this story to have any credibility it’s imperative you understand that the writer has in fact been that “full time working mom with the nanny and all that jazz ...” and she’s been a “stay home mother” for two girls over the last eight years of their lives. In and out of working mother—mother land.

There, I’ve labeled myself twice: “mom” and “mom.” Take the adjective working (something you do) out and stay home (a place that you are) out and all you have left is a nice word—mom.

Frankly I’m tired of the labeling. And, I’m tired of working moms thinking stay home moms don’t do near as much and I’m tired of stay home moms thinking working moms aren’t involved as much. The real truth in this day in age is the kindness we give our kids and the lessons we teach them.

I have moments throughout my days where I relate to the mom rushing off to San Francisco for meetings with clients just after she’s dropped her child off at Kindergarten and I have other moments when I relate completely to the mom who has her iPhone going for a school auction fundraiser with her four year old tugging her leg and she’s helping run a Girl Scout Daisy meeting all at the same time. Don’t forget, she’s not getting paid a dime. “Hello!”—we are all being moms here. Whose to say one is “working” and one is “not.” The defining factor isn’t work, it’s a monetary exchange of cashola, one mom brings home some bacon and the other gets to fry it up in the pan.

Truth be told the over-worked corporate mom would like to be in the classroom more, or at the Brownie meeting or soccer practice and the laundry folding, diaper changing, personal chauffeur, go to gal for everything from bills to homework mom would like to be in the carpool lane heading off to a meeting that might actually put her in the “spotlight” for awhile. Come on! Get real! Drop the you-work, you-do-not work bit and just accept that we are all working moms and all stay home moms on some level. The new word should be “womshom.”

Cheers to all of you who work and are mommies and cheers to all of you who “don’t” work and are mommies. We’ve all had ridiculous situations with breast pumps, or tantrums, or “whoops-I-forgot to do this because I’m so flipp’n busy” moments. This article isn’t going to change the vary nature of our society, to “label”—but may be I’ll make a small dent.

As I went to archive my award-winning entry I realized that I could have this article appear in the “Parenting” category on DivineCaroline. How perfect I thought! Then came the sub-label—“Working Mom.” Too funny I thought—there it is again. “Raising Kids” is an option too, but that would be too “obvious.”